At some point in my life - not sure when - I became a mentor. It sounds much more authoritative and accomplished than it is - basically I share my experiences and from that offer suggestions.
For the past few months I’ve been mentoring some of the founders at a couple of Techstars companies. I’ve actually mentored companies every year since Techstars started and invested in several of them. On top of that I’ve mentored folks in non business situations ranging from a school principal to a priest on financial matters.
Now that Techstars Boulder is over for the summer, I started reflecting about all the various mentor/mentee relationships I’ve had over the years.
So what makes a good mentee from a mentor perspective?
Well for one it is not to take my advice without careful consideration. In fact I’d be really bummed if a mentee did everything I suggested. What I really want is for the teams to engage in a dialog that forces them to think about their business.
Making a suggestion or offering advice is an invitation to explore a different angle - it may be a dead end - but it may lead to something better or offer a path to solve a problem.
So here is what I like from mentees and what I try to do with my mentors:
- Regular meetings with mentors - mentees must take the initiative to set a schedule
- Regular updates on the status of the company
- Follow up on things discussed - typically this means researching something, talking to someone or getting more info regarding a critical assumption
- Engage in a dialog about advice - the mentee should be able to explain why they differ or agree. Can the mentee take the advice and make it his/her decision or are they simply trying to please?
- Resolution of conflicting advice - mentees seek to drive consensus amongst advisors - or consensus amongst teammates
- An attitude of wanting to be coached
- An understanding of the market - as a mentor I might rely on the mentee’s knowledge of the market to help guide my suggestions - a good mentor doesn’t need to be an expert on the market (it helps) but rather has similar experiences dealing with the mentee’s challenges
Here is what doesn’t work:
- Not following through on items discussed - wanting to make decisions without data, experience or conviction
- Not willing to defend decisions
- Unpredictable communications
- Argumentative behavior - this shows a lack of desire to be coached
- Inability to accept reality - holding onto ideas in spite of evidence to the contrary
- Unrealistic expectations regarding the market
- Fairytale expectations of sales or the ability to build something in an unrealistic amount of time
- Lack of talent - trying to do something so far beyond the team’s capabilities
- No passion
I’ve experienced each of the items listed above - both good and bad in the past. Mentors are here to help. Mentees you get what you put into the relationship.
One last thought, many of my friends are mentors for young companies and NEVER have I heard one of them say, “Those dudes at XYZ just keep bothering me and asking for advice.” If you have a mentor and you like them - use them. Chances are they are more willing to help than you are willing to ask.
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